Why????

I think I know what my problem with going away for school is: I don't trust my family. I don't trust them not to get themselves killed without me here watching them lol is that weird? At the same time....I've got to get the fuck out of here.

Benign my ass!

My kind forgiving heart is going to be the death of me. It sits there in my chest, so very jolly, pumping loads of red sympathy through my veins making it unbearably impossible to lead my life. You think it'd be easier that way, but it breeds an entirely new set of problems, and they're even harder to deal with because you're so goddamn soft. CHRIST!! This heart is a horrible cancer. I suffer with it everyday. And There's no amount of chemo, that will make it go away
(... perhaps not entirely true, but I had to jump on that little rhyme there.)

I have all day tomorrow

Most days I'm fine, but some days I remember just how worthless this is. Those are days like these. I'd go back if I could.

Lifted it from a pair of lead_lungs

.: x Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4 --- "and deeper than did ever plummet sound,"

.:x Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? --- my pillow

.:x What is the last thing you watched on TV? --- keeping up with the kardashians

.: x Without looking, guess what time it is: --- 1:04

.: x Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? --- 12:59 :[

.: x With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? ---the tv downstairs, and the birds outside

.: x When did you last step outside? What were you doing? --- yesterday, stepping out of the car so that I could get into my house

.: x Before you started this survey, what did you look at? --- Youtube, some marilyn manson music videos

.: x What are you wearing? --- nothing, jk, jeans and a shirt

.: x Did you dream last night? --- I don't remember it if I did

.: x When did you last laugh? --- yesterday

.: x What is on the walls of the room you are in? --- a small foam "O" from someone's arts-n-crafts kit

.: x Seen anything weird lately? --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldPYrM3kuCM

.: x What do you think of this quiz? --- entertaining

.: x What is the last film you saw? --- Scary Movie 3

.: x If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? --- a house, a car, and a trip for my fam and friends

.: x Tell me something about you that I don't know: --- I like lutes and staring out windows

.: x If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? --- make everything free

.: x Do you like to dance? --- no, well, sometimes; when I'm alone

.: x George Bush: --- blah blah blah, boring question

.: x Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? --- Azura or Lilithe Grey

.: x Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? --- Ross Zidane (can you tell I play too many fantasy rpgs?)

.: x Would you ever consider living abroad? --- I already have, well considered it, not done it

SHUT UP! SHUT UP AND KILL THE BITCH!

because I'm not laughing and I'm not smiling.

Cliff located... *beep boop*....Calculating optimum trajectory....

Sambot: "I wish I was better at being human, my emotional programming is all out of whack."

Mad Scientist: "Do not fear my little android, we can fix that up...Shit."

Sambot: "What is it?"

Mad Scientist: "It seems I neglected to program you with thoughtfulness and initiative. Oh my, well this explains a lot."

Sambot: "I don't understand, is that a bad thing?"

Mad Scientist: "Yes, a very bad thing."

Sambot: "Oh dear, well at least I can blame you for that."

Mad Scientist: "Unfortunately sambot, you only have yourself to blame. I am merely a figment of your imagination...nation...nation..."

Sambot: "......"

The second can't come soon enough

I need a schedule, I need guidance, I need order, I need to get away from myself.